The first in a series: you may be 'x' if...

I. You may be living with a trombone player if...

-you've heard of Wayne Wallace
-you're not allowed to use the mouthpieces as a funnel for your wine
-albums in the music collection include a countoff at the beginning of each tune
-you go to use the computer mouse and it's on top of a trombone case
-there is a general aversion to higher tenor "instruments", such as violins and sopranos