Houston, we have a problem

Today was a textbook lesson in setting expectations – I had an extraordinarily hard time getting through security, such that they actually made me do the whole thing twice! And why would that be, you ask?? Because I had a water bottle, and – gasp – it had water in it!

These trials of which I speak aren’t anything new in the airline industry; it’s just that since I’m not a terrorist, I can’t understand why I couldn’t say, hey, sorry, I was just, you know, trying to stay hydrated, drink my dam (heh) water right there, and proceed to the gate with my newly-confirmed bomb/toiletries/hydration-free luggage.

Suffice it to say, there was further negotiation, incredulity, and outright frustration (all on my part; Trevor is cool as a cucumber) but eventually we got ourselves to gate 75, where, as boarding time approached, it became ever more clear that we did not have an actual plane for our actual journey!

It should come as small surprise then, that by the time we actually got to LAX, we had United’s automated service calling our cell phones (and we are still on the plane from SF!) to notify us that we’ve been bumped from our 6pm flight and would be re-scheduled for 6am and re-routed through Denver. Whoo boy...

But there’s the happy ending to the story: we decided not to believe the recorded voice leaving us dastardly messages on our cell phones. We went to the gate anyway. Ms. Smiley Flight Attendant cheerily says “New Orleans?” – we say yes, a bit cautiously, and she waves us through! We made it! Yea! No 6 a.m. non-direct flight to New Orleans!

Just kidding. Let me toy with your patience some more:

12:06 a.m.

United Flight 119, seat 19C

We are in a holding pattern over New Orleans, victims of a thunderstorm moving east at a brisk (not!) 18 miles per hour. With the storm moving that slowly, we may be forced to divert back to Houston. I cannot begin to express how much that is not New Orleans nor Turin, Italy.

You’ll have to excuse me. I must go in search of that Happy Place I keep hearing about...