Bethy Beth: Accidental Tourist or Proud American Citizen?

Well, here's a dilemma: I set up two separate Blogs By Beth, in the hopes of managing my in-town/out-of-town split personality. But noooo, I had to go and put that Chesterson quote in the heading, and whadyaknow, I really do feel like a foreigner in my own country. Typically, this takes one of two forms.

Exhibit A
late October 2008; Turin, Italy:

-Surreal, part I. Getting American ballots sent to an Italian address. I know they verify I am an American citizen over the age of 18 somewhere during the whole voting process, but still. Surreal.

-Surreal (plus astonishing, demoralizing -- talk about Shock and Awe!), part II: [reading to myself] "What's this -- Eliminates Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. Initiative Constitutional Amendment?? -- WHAT?? No way. Surely I read that wrong -- I must have missed the 'not' somewhere..."

I read it another few times, then go Googling on my computer to see if a change of media might give me a more Enlightened answer. To which my conclusion is, "Holy Crap, California! I leave you alone for ONE MINUTE (okay, more like 5 months), and you come up with THIS?? This is Marriage PROTECTION?? Protection my a**!! Hmm -- on 2nd thought, never mind..."

I quell my disbelief long enough to connect the big fat arrow under NO, while consoling myself, "Heck. I've already threatened not to come back if Obama doesn't win. I'll just add a tiny qualification stipulating "No on 8", no big deal!" Unfortunately, it was a big deal. Still is. Damn.

Anyhow, moving on.

Exhibit B
late January 2009; San Francisco, CA, *U*S*A*:

That's B for *Barack*, of course! Meet my mom and Aunt Nelda to watch simulcast of the inauguration on The Big Screen, Civic Center Plaza. My fellow San Fran Hipsters sing the Darth Vader theme during shots of Dick Cheney and hurl "Good Riddance's" upon seeing most famous person ever to read "My Pet Goat" during a national emergency.

Afterward, we discover a beautiful tapestry kinda thing that people have been signing all morning. I want to write something, though lacking any witticisms of my own, I call on Reverend Lowry's recent words -- words which rippled 1.7 miles from Mr. President's dimples all the way down the Mall to the Washington Memorial, "We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around. When yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right"....!

Yes, sir, right away sir, Mr. Spritely 87-year-old I-don't-clip my eyebrows Lowery, I'll do my best!!

That's the thing, I really prefer Exhibit B over Exhibit A. They both have the potential to make me feel like a foreigner, but one results from expecting the worst and being pleasantly surprised, while the other -- well, you know, it's the opposite. I'm hopin' for a solid 4 years of Exhibit B, and hurrah hurrah, I've got company. See below.

Exhibit C:
Me with my new friend & Partner in Hope. I think we may have gotten our shirts mixed up...